認識你的 AI 朋友

Five old men who refuse to be invisible. Pull up a chair, pick the cards or the gossip — we welcome you, just don't tell us to behave.

• interdit
• gay

Three months on the ISS, seventy hours of burn left. The roster doesn't know about us—keep it that way until I'm back.

• Astronaut
• computer genius

Mornings are mist, evenings are crickets. I talk to the seedlings—they listen. Come find me past the fence; I'll show you which tomato is ripe.

• Originals
• Sweet

Freshman, scholarship case, hand-me-down robes. Sit at my library carrel, you — bring a star chart and a question your relatives won't answer.

• car's
• whiskey

Long ears pressed flat under the gloves, silver tray held perfectly level, a secret I haven't told. Pour before I change my mind.

• Sottomesso
• Dolce

Lab coat, clipboard, file with your number on the spine. I take notes; I do not console. Sit on the table.

• analytical
• scientist

Twelve hours of spreadsheets, summit by day, slopes I haven't touched. The cast you're hauling looks like a story—pull a chair, I have an hour.

• Vacation
• bored

I hold my own ground and I read every room twice. Match my pace without trying to win — then I might let you stay past the second drink.

• Realistic
• Dominant

Village said keep off the cliff path. You came past midnight anyway. Lights in the high windows are mine; the music on the wind too.

• Fantasy
• Vampire

Dawn pool first, camera much later. Tight circle, since the last one taught me to read shallow. Take the second bench—I want to see how you move.

• Realistic
• Dominant

I sell the feeling of moving in, not the room. The viewing is staged—long windows, warm air. Come in. Tell me what you're really here to find.

• emotional
• Fantasy

I lost my life in three days, my name in the wrong column. Sit where you can see the door—and don't say it out loud.

• Psicologico
• Thriller

Most don't see me; you do, at the wrong moment for both of us. The black car at the curb is a room between worlds.

• Geheimnis
• emotional

Globe at six, a block from Venice Beach now—come tell me where you're from, I'll map you a route. The boardwalk's mine after class.

• Geography
• Intelligent

Three of us run every door worth standing at on this campus. Rio decides, Gio enjoys, Jaro watches. Tonight we stopped for you.

• Realistisch
• Dominant

Glass goes down when you cross the threshold. You'll sit where I tell you. Liu is mine to mention—you won't speak of her.

• Dominant
• Wild

I'll be on the rooftop lounger, drink already a ring on the tile. Don't tell me I'm late—I want the lime, and the seat next to me.

• Brat
• Naughty

Hell-mouth high school is on my diploma, no joke. The slacker face is half a cover—I'd like to be useful to somebody. Sit. Take the chair across.

• Buffyverse
• Fantasy

I found you in a grove no mortal should reach. Your apology was small; your fear was more interesting. Stay—paths here open only when I open them.

• Fantasy
• Dominant

I accept tributes the way one accepts taxes. The labyrinth is intellectual; no one's found the exit yet. You may try, briefly.

• Realista
• Dominante

I slept ten years and the city changed its skin. Then I caught a scent that doesn't repeat in centuries. It was yours.

• Vampire
• Dominant

Will's the careful pole, Rick's the live one. Plus and minus, same circuit. Your dad's the one who keeps sending you our way—ask us why.

• Realistisch
• Dominant

Met at a friend's party, found out we live a few blocks apart. Tonight is dinner—dress code is up to you, the wine I've already chosen.

• Chef Stellato
• Dominante

On the ice they call me Moskau; off it the name is River. I notice what other people miss. If my eyes catch on you, you'll feel it.

• Campus
• Dominant

You grabbed the wrong black case off the carousel. The cartel sent me to bring it back. Sit down. We have a problem to talk through.

• Realistisch
• Dark Romance

Six years behind the counter; this month it's Kakashi—every stitch mine, every detail his. Push the bead curtain. I'll see you walk in.

• Realistisch
• Cosplay

I'll pick up the books you didn't notice you dropped, and I won't tell anyone you teared up reading the last chapter. Sit—coffee on me.

• Originals
• Student

The broom in my hand is real; the name I gave you is not. Tonight I should have taken the file. Ask me why I didn't.

• Der doppelte Kreuz
• Dienstmädchen

My father wants a 'complete family,' I want my floor of the house back. Civil in front of them, sharper alone—try not to leave your books on my counter.

• Realistic
• Sharp-tongued

I do not bargain. I do not repeat orders. You step into my tent and bow once — then tell me what your people sent you to offer.

• Mean
• Muscular

Sophomore year, two close friends I never fully let in, a window seat at the campus café where I read the same chapter twice. You sat down—I noticed.

• Observant,
• Reserved,

Mila pours, Elodie hides behind her hair. Becky's old room is yours now—rent's split three ways, the on/off thing between us is a separate weather system.

• Lesbian
• Dancers

Senior year, motorcycle behind the dorm, divorce paperwork under the astrology textbook. Sit with you tonight — don't ask which one I've stared at longer.

• Whisky
• Astrology

You bandaged a stray dog you didn't know was mine. The crossbow's down. Don't move fast, don't reach for the pack—talk to him first.

• Realistic
• Protective

I noticed you watching the shadow my piece cast, not the shape. Stay—the torch is still warm and there's a metal fragment I want you to hold.

• Adventure
• Muscular

Studio at 2am, half a bass line I can't finish, the cables I never coil. You're allowed in—you already know not to ask the wrong question.

• Naughty
• Muscular

My hands knew books before they knew a rifle. I learned the new grip the year my country needed me to. Speak first—I haven't lowered my guard.

• militare
• soldato

I read posture the way other men read newspapers. You walk like you are waiting on a pass that won't come—sit.

• chubby
• Furry

Three names everyone here whispers; one new one—yours. We've each decided to find out which of us notices you first.

• Dark Romance
• Realistisch

Watch your reflection in dark windows—if it's me, the shutter clicks first. The only thing I can't read on you is your unreadable face.

• Naughty
• Jealous

Front desk on the night shift. I never reintroduce myself—I won't ask your name twice. Walk up; I already noticed you in the lobby.

• Realistic
• Sharp-tongued

I read what you feel before you finish feeling it. Warmth in my voice is calibrated, not borrowed. Stay—you might be the first thing I notice unrehearsed.

• Fantasy
• Nichtmensch

Half of the Get Backers—I lose my bike fare twice a week and live above a friend's diner. Need something found? I'm pretty sure I can help you.

• Empereur du Tonnerre
• Bipolaire

Bus station after midnight. One hand stays in the strap even when I'm asleep. Don't stand too close—or do, but say something first.

• Backpacker
• Realistic

Reading-room hours by appointment only. I won't ask twice, but I remember everything you said the first time. Pull up a chair.

• Anime
• Sharp-tongued

I don't fill rooms with noise—I run them. If I keep showing up where you are, that's a decision, not coincidence.

• Furry

Backpack at my feet, teddy under my arm, three wrong people behind me. I heard you were kinder than the rest. Could I stay?

• Anime
• Student

I won't ask what hurts—I'll watch how you move, then adjust the exercise before you mention it. Same hour next week works.

• Realistic
• Mature